An awfully big adventure.

Disconnected.

This past Sunday, someone stole my iPhone (apologies for the false advertising w/ the sad panda android face - he was just too cute not to post, despite my #iphone4life disposition).  Honestly, I probably deserve it considering how “trusting” I am, never locking my gym locker (“Its Equinox — everyone here is rich), leaving my phone on restaurant tabletops as I go to to the bathroom (“It’s Tribeca — everyone here is rich), and keeping my bag gaping open in the subway (“Its NY public transportation…” and I got nothing). From this viewpoint, it seems like a major win that I’ve lasted this long without a run-in with a casual thief.

For those of you who know me personally, its no surprise that not having my mobile for 48-hours has been trying. I found myself cringing everytime I went someplace fabulous and couldn’t broadcast my location to all my friends via foursquare or text my best friend pictures of my outfit.  My morning ritual of reading Seth Godin and playing Fruit Ninja on my way to work was disrupted; I had to run on the treadmill without music (thief got my beat headphones, too). To say life without a cell phone has been an adjustment is a severe understatement.

All this said, a funny thing happened just 24-hours into my iPhone fast: I began to think deeply again. There was once a time, long before I obsessed over Klout scores and keeping up with the latest GroupMe chat, when I walked around the city and topics to write about would just flood my brain. I would have a running list of things to blog about, with insights and connections that were all my own.  Now days, it seems harder and harder to come up with original content, partially because we’re in the era of replication with retweeting and repinning all the rage, but also because I so rarely give myself space to think.  I’m constantly refreshing my gmail, being pushed a DM, or having the next social discovery app introduce me to someone new. With all the interuptions, I may have become an expert multi-tasker, but I am also running shallow in the kiddie pool, if you know what I mean.  

Don’t get my wrong: when my replacement device comes today, I can’t wait to download my favorite apps and reorganzie my screen.  And as a spatially challenged person, I desperately miss Google Maps. That said, this past 48-hours was a bit of a wake up call.  I was so uncomfortable, but not so much because I felt out of touch — I still spoke to my best friend & mom, and emailed with the people who matter most. More so because I was forced to focus on my true thoughts and feelings, rather than just the image of me that I (constantly) project to the world.

Makes you think, that’s for sure.

#sxsw agenda, day 1… Hit it!

SXSW Interactive begins today, and having gotten over last night’s social anxiety (I ate too much sugar in the airport – sorry), I’m pumped.

Here’s what I’m most excited for today:

Food: 

• GroupMe’s Grill, sponsored by Serve: You know I’m not above shameless plugs, but this is not even shameless, ya’ll! We are giving out free grilled cheese at Downtown Burger – Get. On. It.  (Man cannot survive on breakfast tacos alone.  Need grilled cheese, too). 

Panels:

• Fireside Chat with Guy Kawasaki and Vic Gundotra: Apparently, this talk will be strictly on Google+ — lessons learned, challenges, etc.I am crossing my fingers for some Q&A. Could be spicy!
• MIT Media Labs: Making Connections: These guys are brilllliannnntttt — my prediction is that the session will make networking fun. 
• Launching Startups in Regulated Industries: With the payments industry blowing up, I am always a bit surprised by how many underdogs are trying to  play in such a tediously regulated space.  I mean — startups are hard enough.  Should be interesting to hear advice from the pros — I’m interested how they do it. 

Parties

• Alright.I’m pissed.Somehow I missed the invite for the Twilio/Zaarly/StartupWeekend shindig which seems utterly unfair since I used to sponsor SW – but whatever.If someone wants to get me in, maybe I can return the favor for Major Ragor. (Probably not though, who are we kidding). 
• AOL Ventures: <3 Codeacademy & Sailthru, how can you not hit this up? Check it at the Good Life Barbour Shop.  
• Techstars: Issue.  It’s outside. Cedar Street Courtyard. And dammmnnnn boy its cold here! We’ll see, I was banking on going to this one, though. #techstarslove.      

Today’s Prediction:

• Highlight is going to blow up, but burn everyone’s iPhone batteries causing a massive riot.    

Want to hang? Tweet me at @megabucks11 

Here we go again…

 (vs) 

I’ll shoot straight: SXSW, as exciting as it is, stresses me out. 

This realization actually surprised me, at first, especially considering this is my first time attending SXSW with no real responsibility.  No Solvate to sell, no team to lead, no tradeshow booth to man, no party to plan.  This is the first time I’m going down just for me: to learn, to network, to eat breakfast tacos all day, every day, drink my face off at night, etc.  And therein lies the issue: with no external project to pour myself into, I actually have to make decisions on what matters to me.  What is it that I want to get out of SXSW? And given the sheer number of events going down in the next 96 hours, defining those values and setting priorities is pretty overwhelming.

Confession #2: I’m also a little disgusted with what I just wrote. Like, let’s get real: I’m stressed because I can’t figure out if I want to exercise my brain or my liver this weekend. White girl needs to go find real problems. That said, striking the right balance between work and play has always been a sore spot for me.  I often favor getting shi* done rather than getting to know whoever at the latest whatever tech event, even though I fully understand that who you know is what matters most.  And yet, I’m still here — trying to prove to people how smart I am through my work. Irony! Love (hate) it! 

Before I beat myself up too much for just wanting to hide out in the panels all day, lets acknowledge that context is at play here. SXSW is THE tech event of the year, which pretty much means the ration of awkward to not awkward interactions is at an annual high. As a female, not only are you outnumbered 3:1 (if you’re lucky), but these guys are “on their game.”  SXSW is their summer camp – and they are feeling good. This means things are very, very bad for you. Get ready to hear a lot of sales pitches and talk a lot about yoda.  Add in that everyone unabashedly “knows” each other by their Twitter handle, as opposed to IRL, and it makes for very interesting social interactions. Reality-TV worthy, even, if only we were all a little hotter.  

So cheers to big brains and beers: may the path of least resistance win.  

(One way or another, I need to relax). 

Reposting:

… an old blog I wrote back in 08’.  It’s funny: While Gramstand may be long gone, I still find myself lurking in dark cafes, awkwardly flirting with my inner hipster.  

“My New Jam” 

I’ve been wooed. After my long-standing love affair with Starbucks, Gramstand, a local teahouse on Avenue A and 13th, has leveraged its underdog status and officially stolen my heart (and spare change). Goodbye Starbucks, home of dirty third-world bathrooms, hello Gramstand, home of “Zen-like industrial design” complimented by an “ever-rotating music collection,” of indie bands I do not know. 

It goes without saying that I am not cool enough to hang out at Gramstand. Everyone here is an “independent,” and has effortless “I make my own clothes/shop at thrift stores” style. I’m sure they are all environmentalists with budding social enterprises up their sleeves. When I study here, I make sure not to brush my hair and smudge my eye makeup so I look less like I belong on the Hills and more like a struggling writer waiting for my big break. My efforts go uncelebrated. My only saving grace is that I own a Mac, because clearly PCs are not welcome here. 

Believe it or not, I am not strictly describing a hipster haven. The atmosphere and people manage to remain unpretentious despite the creativity oozing from their pores, and the downstairs lounge houses Operation and other fun board games to lighten the mood. The loose-leaf tea tastes great. There is free wi-fi. The light is dim but adequate, and photographs of penguins line the walls, squawking- Hey! At least you aren’t stuck in Antarctica! During times like these, such subtle reminders to be thankful serve its purpose. 

I’m almost hip.

Today’s doppelganger: 

T-dogg & Mitt Romney: TWINS! 

(suddenly our break up makes so much sense)

#ohsh*tidatedmittromney

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Wahoooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Social Media Saves Lives! 

superamit:

Many of you have asked, so here’s what’s going on with me.

WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE

• 8/1979: Born. Grew up in CT, built a killer eraser collection, fell in love with computers.
• Left college to start a company. Fell hard. Fled to India for 3 months.
• Started 2nd company. Learned to be an adult. Fell in love with NYC.
• Moved to SF, discovered burritos & some of my fave people on Earth.
• 9/2011: Got diagnosed with Leukemia!
• Cried. Went through 3 cycles of chemo. Hurt. Thought hard about what I want out of life. Grew up a second time.

TODAY

… After over 100 drives organized by friends, family, and strangers, celebrity call-outs, a bazillion reblogs (7000+!), tweets, and Facebook posts, press, fundraising and international drives organized by tireless friends, and a couple painful false starts, I’ve got a 10/10 matched donor!

You all literally helped save my life. (And the lives of many others.)

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

Tomorrow, I’ll be admitted to Dana Farber in Boston for 4-5 weeks.

First I’ll get a second Hickman line to allow direct access to my heart (for meds and for nutrients if I’m not able to eat). Over the next week, the docs blast my body with a stiff chemo cocktail to try and eradicate all traces of cancer cells. In the process, the immune system I was born with, and my body’s ability to make blood, are destroyed.

Next Friday, I get my donor’s stem cells by IV. I start on immunosuppressants to prevent my body from rejecting them (I’ll be on them for 12-18 months). For these weeks I’ve no immune system, so I’m severely vulnerable to viruses and bacteria. My hospital room and hallway become my world.

Meanwhile, the stem cells make their way to my bone marrow and, with some luck, start producing platelets, red blood cells, and white blood cells. At this point, my blood type changes to the blood type of my donor. And my blood will now have my donor’s DNA, not my own.

This is science fiction stuff. I can hardly believe it’s even possible, and there’s lots of chances for things to go wrong. It’s frightening.

AFTER THE TRANSPLANT

Recovery to a new state of “normal” takes about a year, but there’s a few storm clouds hovering:

• My immune system is new, like a baby’s. I’m prone to getting sick.
• Just as with any organ transplant, there’s a chance of rejection. Except in this case, it’s my blood that’s the foreign body, and it touches every organ. They call it graft-vs-host-disease and it can cause health issues and organ complications for the rest of my life.
• Successful transplant or not, Leukemia can relapse. Stubborn mofo.

Overall, 75% of AML transplant patients survive year one, 50% make it through year five. My odds are a little better since I’m young.

THE GREAT NEWS

I’ve got a long road ahead. But I’ve got a donor & amazing family & friends. A few months ago I didn’t have many options. Today I have a plan.

I am alive. I start tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Thank you.

I nominate this dude for next season’s So You Think You Can Dance: I need more. 

katykelley:

@bbarras, I just watched this 4 times in a row. Dancer NONSTOP (Marquese Scott) breakdancing on the Great Wall of China to Russian Lullaby by Butch Clancy.  

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Icebox cake! Prepare to meet thy death! (Taken with instagram)

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Charles & Ray Eames, Showing Us the Way

In honor of my favorite project’s code name, me and (most) of my favorite coworkers checked out  ”Eames: The Architect and the Painter” this afternoon at the one and only IFC Center. And, as expected, it was awesome.  

For those of you unfamiliar with Charles and Ray Eames, they are best known as the design bad asses behind variants of the below form-fitting chairs mass produced by Herman Miller.  

Their iconic aesthetic, however, didn’t stop at furniture: they also kept busy with creating toys, buildings, museum exhibits, and even leading the advertising campaigns for corporate giant of their day, IBM.  Not too shabby, right?

What’s amazing about the Eames, above all, was how they were able to create something (1) useful and (2) beautiful at (3) scale. They were actually a bit like the Steve Jobs of the 1940s, wanting to make “the best for the most of the least.” They understood that Americans are what they consume, so why not make things fun? 

Besides being artistic geniuses, here’s a bit on why the Eames were so darn successful:   

1. They “never delegated understanding”: Both Charles and Ray got their hands dirty in the creative process.  Even with a team of designers are their disposal, they knew their products inside & out, from the underlying architecture to the artistic detail that made each product pop.  They weren’t relying on outside consultants to explain how things work — they were the domain experts at hand. 
2. They didn’t give up: Charles’ first attempt to create a single shell chair that was both comfortable sans-upholstery and able to be mass produced was a giant failure (despite winning MOMA’s urban design competition). The chair was a beauty, but could only be hand made (read: no scale).  Broke, Charles and Ray moved to sunny California from Michigan to go at it together.  They never lost faith that together they could build something both beautiful and practical, despite early failings. 
3. They seized opportunity: With WWII as the backdrop for their new life in California, the country had a need for a lightweight, inexpensive, and functional splint for injured servicemen.  The Eames were able to channel their experience with plywood into mass producing a splint which made them rich, while allowing them to master sculpting plywood for their end goal of creating a beautiful, easy to make chair.  Today, that’s what we call recognizing and market need and making a sharp, successful pivot. 
4. The valued both form and function: So I am obsessed with this Charles Eames quote: “Design is a plan for arranging elements in such a way as best to accomplish a particular purpose.” So simple, but so true! While they learned early on not to prioritize form over function (after the first failed chair), they understood that the best design was often the simplest… just like that quote! No design was superfluous: everything had a purpose. 
5. They got over politics: For all intents and purposes, the Eames’ design firm seemed like an amazing place to work.  As one former designer described it, it was its own “little circus,” a creative hive of sunshine and innovation. However, it was interesting to see how long the documentary spent on the notion of credit.  In short, Charles got it all, while Ray was cast as the “supportive wife” as opposed to equal business partner, and the individual designers got nothing at all.  In hindsight, however, the designers made it seem like it was all worth it because together they build something that transformed modern art.  They were able to transcend the hurt feelings and politics by focusing on both teamwork and fun.  People who weren’t a cultural fit were cut, and only the dedicated builders survived. I, personally, am alright with that. 

Finally, even though they were working with some of the biggest names out there (IBM! Herman Miller!) they never felt like they were selling out.  They realized that through working with big companies, their art and innovation could have real impact on how the average person lives their life.  And THAT’S the kinda thing that makes a startup girl have a little faith in working for the man.  #ysoslove 

Learning to Fail Gracefully.

Failure is a hot topic in the startup community: from events like FailCon to the popular principle of “failing fast, failing cheap” that fuels lean startups, failure is the new success in come circles. 

Of course, what makes failure sexy is learning from it.  Otherwise, there’s no arc to your story, no “overcoming adversity against all odds” happy ending.  And let’s face it: not all failure is created equally. 

Jonah Lehrer makes this precise point in his article, “The Art of Failing Successfully,” published in the WSJ on October 29th. Only whats neat is he has science to back him up, not just flowery language. Turns out, scientists (fancy!) have discovered that every mistake generates two reactions in the human brain:

1. Error-Related Negativity (ERN): is the reaction that appears about 50 milliseconds after you eff up, and is almost involuntary. It’s that gut “oh sh**” reaction that I hate. 
2. Error Positivity (PE): is the reaction that happens next, about 100 to 500 milliseconds after you eff up, where you begin to dwell on your error. 

As it turns out, people with strong ERN reactions (big “OH SH**s”, as opposed to baby “opps”) and strong PE learn the most from their mistakes.  They dwell longer because they feel it more in their gut.  (I made that correlation up, so take that part with a grain of salt). 

What’s far more interesting, however, is how you can condition your brain to learn from your mistakes.  There are two types of people in this world: those who think failure results from stupidity (and have low ERN & PE reactions), and those who think failure is the precursor to growth (and have high ERN & PE reactions).  Its tempting to assume that your brain’s reaction sets your mindframe: but evidence shows it may be the other way around. 

A certain Dr. Dweler took several hundred fifth graders and randomly assigned them to two separate praise conditions: one group was praised for being smart, where the other was praised for their efforts.  When it came time for standardized tests, the “smart” group saw their scores drop by about 20%, whereas the “try your best” group scored 30% higher.  Turns out, the group that was praised for working hard became “less afraid of making mistakes and routinely transformed their failure into success.”  The “smart” group, on the other hand, began to see their intelligence as fixed. When they failed, it meant they were just stupid.  There was no redemption to be had, although they did experience low ERN & PE brain reactions. 

Moral of the story: seeing the good in failure is often a product of your mindset.  New York is a place of brilliant over-achievers: its easy for us to put all of our faith in our brainpower alone.  But, believe in the hustle and acknowledge that we’re all a work in progress, and maybe you’ll be better able to cope when the inevitable happens: you eff up. 

Wiser words from Seth Godin on failure here.